Need a friend

Need a friend in life with whom we can share our innermost thoughts without seeming stupid.

When I was a kid my mother and brother were my best friends. I could share my deeepest thoughts with them. They were never judgemental about the things that I shared. But my marriage changed the equations between my blood. Some thing is holding back me now from baring my soul to them.

I tried to bare all to my partner but he is of a different world. I am now learning to hold back my thoughts from him. I am not sure if he would ever be able to guess what's going on in my mind. I hope he would one day and I also hope that then its not too late. Till then for me my hope is my small one who would one day come of age.

Or may be I should learn that there is no such one other than yourself who can be your best friend. Who will not raise an eyebrow at your deepest thoughts.

But nowI am tired and want to leave all this behind. I am tired of constantly keeping up to myself and others expectations. I just wanna give up and run away. But I can't for one part of me urges me to keep fighting. I have come so far that there is no return. The only way is to move forward till I meet the end..